Moving from the Judger to the Learner Mindset

from
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life:  7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
by Marilee Adams, Ph.D.

What is the learner/judger mindset?

Judger	Learner
Judgmental of self and/of others	Accepting of self and others
Reactive and automatic	Responsive and thoughtful
Know-it-already	Values not-knowing
Inflexible and rigid	Flexible and adaptive
Either/or thinking	Both/and thinking
Self-righteous	Inquisitive
Afraid of difference	Values difference
Defends assumptions	Questions assumptions
Possibilities seem as limited	Possibilities seen as unlimited
Primary mode: protective	Primary mode: curious
We all have both mindsets, and we have the power to choose how we operate in any moment.

How do judger/learner relationships differ?

Judger	Learner
Wins-lose relationships	Win-win relationships
Feels separate from others	Feels connected with others
Fears differences	Values differences
Debates	Dialogues
Criticizes	Critiques
Listens for:	Listens for:
Right/wrong	Facts
Agree/disagree	Understanding
Differences	Commonalities
Feedback perceived as rejection	Feedback perceived as worthwhile
Seeks to attack or defend	Seeks to resolve and create
We all relate from both mindsets; and we have the power to choose how we relate in any moment.